today is saturday,

another in a chain

of saturdays stretching on,

linked, pulling, fragile–

today is saturday,

but I am tired of it.

each second passes,

each minute, each

hour changes me

and I am afraid of the


of saturdays

I have yet to live.

who will I be when I wake up


my saturdays are finite

but yours are limited

and we’ve never really

been able to breathe




I am scared of nothing

but leaving the house each morning.

I am scared of nothing

until I remember that in the news

people like me are dying.

I am scared of nothing

but then I hear, over and over:

another woman pulled

out of a bathroom stall,

pants around her ankles,

to be beaten to death;

another couple, shot from behind

for holding hands

over the table;

another teen suicide,

brought on by bullying that was


because somehow it was okay,

so long as he was different;

another child wandering the streets,

kicked out of their home

for speaking their truth.

If I were in Russia, I would be

in a concentration camp.

My family would tell me,

over the table,

that they would kill anybody

with their bare hands

for being gay.

If I were in Indonesia,

I would be taken from my home,

detained, publicly lashed.

If I were in Egypt, in Kenya,

in Uganda, in Zambia,

I would be forced an examination

to test for homosexuality.

There are things I have never had to go through.

There are things I have never had to hear.

But I cannot leave my house

with my safety guaranteed;

I cannot hold my partner’s hand

walking down the street;

I cannot use the bathroom

whenever I need to;

I cannot live my life

the way that many people do.

I am scared of nothing

until I remember

that the world

is scared

of me.

Unfortunately, all events listed are true. Read more about hate crimes against trans women here and the story referenced in the poem here and here; LGBT teen suicide and bullying statistics here and here; the story about the young lesbian couple shot here; LGBT homeless statistics here; news about the Russian concentration camps here, here, and here; a young Russian man talking about his experiences here; news about a couple detained in Indonesia here; and the forced examinations can be read about here.