your words are too

weighty, too


for my tired mind;

my eyes are glazed,

my throat is tight,

the things you are saying

that you are doing

seem unreal, otherworldly.

they should not be

this distant,

but you are loud and heavy

you take up too much space

you have too much mass

for me, for today,

and it is easier

to drown you out

than take you in.




i would say i long for

nothing but sleep

but this would be a lie; i long for

dreamless sleep

uninterrupted sleep

restful sleep

deep sleep

the kind of sleep that

you wake up from and

feel well rested afterwards.

this sleep is


for me; this sleep

is drugs and broken

eyes and shadows

that pull from behind

each step like


this sleep


and refuses to be

forgotten or left

behind; it clings

desperately to my ankles

and refuses to be

shaken off.



i feel sick

your words

were not intended

to make me feel bad

but i am guilty

i am wrong

i am a mistake

i am sick you hate me

you hate me you hate

your words scream

at me they make me feel

sick they make me

feel shaky they

tear me down tear me apart

tear into me

a simple comment

a suggestion

you are not in the wrong

you are not to blame

it is just this,

that i am weak.